The trap of being friendly is, however, that it can be perceived by men as a weak position and showing concern for the team's priorities might suggest your preparedness for concessions. Many experts and academics confirm that, stereotypically, female communication styles are often associated with low-status influence styles. Solid reasoning can help to avoid falling into this trap, making the request legitimate. Use appropriate reasoning, justified by context, and rely on facts, not emotions or feelings, to move forward with credibility and legitimacy.
Besides, to make sure that you set ambitious goals, you need to collect good information to minimise uncertainty. Are you fairly paid? Are you entitled to a pay rise? What is the average in your industry? What benefits can you ask for? If a man and a woman are in a situation of equal uncertainty about what is appropriate, it is proven that a man will adopt a more aggressive style in asking for more. To avoid this trap, get your data right to have more confidence in the legitimacy of your asks.